The difficulties of being a Capitol Princess
by TragicallyBeautifulxx
Summary: Previously "Who Said Love Was Easy?" Life wasn't easy for Effie Trinket. When you're acting all the time, an entire town hates your guts and you're illegaly in love with an alchoholic in can be hard to relax. R&R!
1. Prologue

_**Prologue**_

**So Effie, it's been a while since we last saw you in the Capitol, how have you been?**

I've been good, well better, since I moved to Twelve. I feel different, very different.

**You look different, would you say you changed for the better?**

You tell me Caesar.

**I'd say so. Now then, tell me about the first time you met Haymitch.**

The first time I met Haymitch... he was as usual, drunk, very rude and extremely unpleasant.

**And that changed? **

Not really, at least, not for a long, long time, but my opinion certainly changed.

**How so, how did your opinion change. **

Let's just say, he grows better on acquaintance.

**When did you realise this? **

Well, it happened so gradually I can hardly tell.


	2. Chapter 1

"Who the hell are you?" he asks as the stench of liquor and stale sweat fills my nostrils.

"I'm District Twelve's new escort; Euphrasie Amelia Trinket," I reply holding out my hand, hoping he doesn't take it, he doesn't. His hands aren't noticeably filthy but I can tell it's been a while since he washed, but even with this I must maintain good manners.

"And _Effie_, why are you here?" I frown at his shortening of my name but I know that to argue is pointless. Instead I remind him that it is customary for mentors to meet a new escort before the reaping. Even I don't know the exact reason behind this but he should've remembered. I notice the small pile of unopened letters sitting on hs coffee table.

"Well then _Effie_, I've met you, you're free to go." I wince _ever_ so slightly as he emphasises my name, but I leave before I faint from the stench. I'm somewhat surprised by his behavior but I don't really know what I expected.

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_7 years later_

"Wake up, it's going to be a big, big, big day!" I say; rather loudly and high-pitched to annoy him, as I throw a glass of water over Haymitch's head.

"Its early," he groans as I open the curtains and the window. It's hot, the air would be next to unbreathable in any other house, but in Haymitch's house with the combination of the heat and the stench its suprising he hasn't died yet.

"Its noon," I reply as I throw another glass of water over his head, this time purely for the fun of watching him splutter, "get up, you've got two hours before the reaping, do _not_ be late," say as I turn and leave, keeping the door open to let some air into the house. Normally I would stay and make sure he got ready but today I would rather not. Instead I decide to wait in the Justice Building.

Haymitch is, as I expected, late foe the reaping and I start to regret leaving. He staggers onto the stage in the middle of the mayor's speech. he's been drinking, a lot. Late _and_ drunk, brilliant. These thought's only just cross my mind before he tries to hug me. I just about managed to push him away, trying to ignore the tiny flutter in my stomach. I barely notice when the mayor introduces me, I walk to the podium and give my usual speech about how much of an honour it is to be there. I've given it so many times I can repeat it without even thinking. I cross to the girls reaping ball and pull out a slip of paper. Dread washes over me as I smooth it out and read the name. All I can hear is silence and my heart drops as a figure emerges from the back of the square. The girl is Twelve but she looks much younger, not a single person looks relived that it's not them. Every single face in the square registers shock and horror. someone shouts from further forward and a group of girls part as another figure emerges, an older girl whom I can only presume is her sister.

"I volunteer," she gasps, "I volunteer as tribute." I myself am not quite sure what the system is, after years at Twelve I've forgotten and I begin to mumble something but the mayor let's her come forward. the younger girl starts screaming and is taken of by an older boy.

"Well bravo," I say cheerfully as she climbs the steps, "that's the spirit of the games! What's your name?"

"Well I bet my buttons that was your sister." I say cheerfully, no one applauds Katniss, instead they all touch the three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and hold it out to her. I feel her move slightly and I hear a faint sniff. Haymitch staggers over to 'congratulate' her and begins hollering how much he likes her. I begin to worry as he begins shouting at the cameras but I have to stifle a laugh when he falls of the stage.

I decide it's time to choose the boy tribute, I walk over to the boy's reaping ball; keeping one hand on my wig. I read out the name, Peeta Mellark and he begins to walk towards the stage, attempting to remain emotionless but I can see the dread on his eyes, it's a look I have become acquainted with over the years, in Haymitch before the reaping, and in the face of every tribute whose name I call out.

I begin to feel a little bored when the mayor reads out the Treaty of Treason, which I'm sure every citizen of Panem has heard enough times to know it by heart. I barely notice when he finishes and tells the tributes to shake hands. There is some tension between them but that's not uncommon, they both know they probably won't come out of the Games alive, and if they do they won't be the same. My thoughts turn to Haymitch as the national anthem plays and we leave the stage, what would he be like if he hadn't been reaped. I can't help but feel a little guilty for pulling out the names, I know it's not entirely my fault but I'm not sure if the people of Twelve feel the same way.

The girl whose name I pulled out walks past me with her mother. Her red rimmed eyes are facing the floor and her mother looks straight ahead, face void of emotion. she doesn't send me an accusing glance like they usually do and I'm surprised, after all I almost sent her Twelve year old to be brutally murdered on national television, I wouldn't have been surprised if she slapped me. I would if I was her.

I brush these thoughts away as I sit down and wait for the tributes, only looking up to send the Everdeens an apologetic glance.


	3. Chapter 2

**Another chapter! My chapters tend to be short and I'm trying to work on that.**

**Hope you enjoy!x**

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2

I barely notice any happenings around me while I wait for my tributes. This year, instead, I notice the silence, not something that one would tend to notice. There's a strange sort of silence in Twelve, almost dead. _How ironic, most of the population is starving to death._ Everyone talks in near whispers, almost as if for fear of being over heard. _What a terrible way to live, _I think, constantly facing the likelihood of starving to death of being arrested. Every district citizen of Panem must be on the brink of arrest, a few in the Capitol too, _including me. _I could be arrested at any time for my thoughts on the Games, my _traitorous_ longing to help the districts, anything really. _But I'm careful,_ I think, _I always watch what I say._

Once the tributes are led by Peacekeepers back into the hall I snap back into escort mode. I chatter about absolute nonsenseas we make our way to the train station because I know they aren't listening, they are both in completely different places with their thoughts. The boy, Peeta has been crying, his red-rimmed eyes giving him away but the girl, Katniss stares forward, her face void of emotion. I show them to their rooms, informing them that they may do as they please as long as they are on time for dinner.

Then I notice Katniss' pin, I study it for a minute to make sure I'm right. I am. _A mockingjay. _I smile to myself, _a symbol of rebellion_. I knew when she volunteered for her sister that she was something different, but this, this is dangerous. I can't help but feel determined for Katniss to win, I must remember to tell Haymitch to coach them properly.

_Haymitch._I realise I haven't seen him since the Reaping, I begin to wonder if he's alright, he took quite a fall. I look for him in the bar car but he isn't there which worries me a little as he's never in his room. I slap myself mentally for being concerned about his welfare. Another thing I could be arrested for, my feelings for Haymitch. _How strange the government is,_ I think. I quickly brush away all thoughts of Haymitch for the time being while I go over tomorrows schedule.

At five minutes to the hour I tell the kids to go to the dining car for dinner. Peeta is already waiting when Katniss and I enter the compartment.

"Where's Haymitch?" I ask.

"Last time I saw him he said he was going to take a nap," Peeta replies.

"Well it's been an exhausting day," I reply, relived that someone has seen him.

Dinner turns out to be a pleasant surprise. The soup and lamb chops are simply divine and the cheeses are delicious. The kids even have good table manners, unlike some of the past tributes. But once I remark on this Katniss begins to eat the rest of the meal with her fingers and wipes her hands on the tablecloth. I decide not to give out but I can't help but be annoyed. The kids begin to feel sick but this doesn't surprise me, they often do, being used to a life of starvation.

We move to the veiwing car to recap on the Reapings. I manage to get an idea of all the tributes skills based on their appearances. The girl from 1 is ditzy you could see it in her smile, the girl from 2 had good aim it showed in her eyes, the boy from 2 was the one to watch his demeanour showed off a killing instinct, Districts 3 and 4 made no real impression but the girl from 5 was intelligent her eyes saying that she knew how to survive, but the girl from 11, she was s young, so small, I knew she could go far, she wouldn't win but she'd go far. I try to suppress a smile when Haymitch falls off the stage at 12's reaping so I decide to pretend to be annoyed.

"Your mentor has a lot to learn about presentation, a lot to learn about televised behaviour," I say and Peeta laughs unexpectedly.

"He yas drunk," he says, "he's drunk every year,"

"Every day," Katniss adds with a smirk, she obviously thinks I know absolutely nothing and neither of them hold any respect for Haymitch.

"Yes," I hiss, "how odd you two find it amusing. You know your mentor is your lifeline to the world in these Games. The one who advises you, lines up your sponsors, and dictates the presentation of any gifts. Haymitch can well be thje difference between your life and your death!" Their faces tell me I took them by surprise, they obviously weren't expecting that. As if on cue Haymitch staggers into the compartment.

"I miss supper?" he manages to ask before being sick on the carpet and falling into hes own vomit.

"So laugh away!" I say before hopping around Haymitch and leaving the compartment before my want to help Haymitch takes over. when he fell at the Reaping I had the fact that I was being televised to the whole of Panem to prevent my rushing to his aid, here though it was simply a matter of appearances so I would probably end up helping if I stayed any longer. So I fled, as I have done for seven years.

I know I can't keep going on like this, hoping for something to change, worrying about everything I say, insulting people I dont want to insult just to keep up appearances. over the past few years I've been increasingly worried, I haven't spoken my mind about things in years. I wonder what it's like in the districts, apart from what Haymitch told me over the years. I can't even begin to imagine what its like to be starving every day while the never hungry Capitol takes your children to fight to the death for their entertainment. that's something we can't talk about in the penthouse which I'm sure is bugged. How I long for freedom.

I think back to the mockingjay pin,_ this girl is going to make a_ difference.I make a note to talk to Haymitch about her in the morning.

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**I know this chapter is a little weird, but everything is pretty important. even the parts where it just seems like I'm trying to fill the page.**

**Please review. It really helps to have some motivation!x**


	4. Chapter 3

**I'm soo sorry for the delay! I had a really hard time writing this chapter, figuring out what could've happened on the train was so difficult. But after many rewrites I finally did it! I'm going away for a while so hopefully the change in scenery will inspire me. Unfortunately I wont be updating till I get back.(imagine it, 3 weeks without internet!)**

**I ****_really_**** hope you enjoy this!x (You probably won't)**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own the Hunger Games._ Le sigh._**

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**3**

_I am a despicable person,_ I think to myself as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. _Why don't I just do something? It'd be better than sitting around lying to the entire country while I wait for something to happen. Besides, who would care if I was arrested,or executed? Portia, maybe, perhaps my sisters? Me, that's why I can't do this, I'm to selfish. If things do change I want to be there to see it, and that's what's stopping me from helping. _After about five minutes I push these thoughts to the back of my mind and dress for the day, making sure my old locket is hidden from view. I finger the fine gold chain for a moment before going to wake the kids for breakfast. Haymitch saunters into the dining car as I pour myself a cup of coffee.

"Looking ridiculous as always, Princess," he says with a slight nod in my direction. I frown even though I agree.

"A simple good morning would have sufficed," I reply as I turn my whole body to face him. "And my name is Effie."

"Whatever, Princess."

"Haymitch, I think you should mentor these kids properly," I say, knowing this is my only chance to catch him even vaguely sober.

"Why should I do that? They don't stand a chance."

"I think that they do, especially her. I just, have a feeling, at least think about it."

"I don't think so,Princess."

"Why are you so..." I suddenly realise how close he's standing to me now, I know I'm starting to blush as I take in his scent of pine and whisky. "Difficult?" I finally manage. _Thank God for make up._

"Princess, you have no idea what you're talking about, It must be difficult for that blissful Capitol brain of yours to comprehend-" he staggers back as my slap cuts him off. I grab my coffee and leave the compartment, not even bothering to acknowledge Katniss as I brush past her on my way out.

* * *

"You hit a tribute!" I scream, "of all the stupid things you've done Haymitch, this takes the biscuit!"

"Calm down, Pri-"

"I will, not calm down, and stop calling me that! I cannot fathom why you would do something so idiotic!"

"He spilt my drink..."

"It's _free_!"

"Anyway, I thought about it... and I will stay sober enough to mentor them."

"W..what made you change your mind?"

"I have a feeling." It's exactly what I said but I don't ask him about it, after all, the penthouse is most likely bugged. Instead I decide to dress for the Tribute Parade. I'm not normally excited for the parade but this year we've got new stylists. More importantly we've got _Cinna and Portia, _whom I know to be two of the best stylists in the Capitol, but I'm a bit biased when it comes to Portia. Dear Portia almost screamed down the phone to me when she got the job, she got to work with Cinna, the most amazing designer Panem has ever seen in her opinion.

"But Effie, the way he looks at fabrics... the way he uses colours... his eye for detail!" For weeks I've listened to her gush about her partner and now I get to see what they've come up with.

I find Haymitch waiting in the living room looking rather...handsome. I must have frozen for a moment because he suddenly grabs my arm and leads me to the elevator. Gently, it surprises me, I half expected him to nearly rip my arm off. I probably seem to be acting strangely because he glances at me and moves ever so slightly further away. For some reason I can't stop smiling. Haymitch notices and questions me on it.

"What's up with you Trinket?" _Oh would you please use my proper name? _

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

"You keep smiling and staring..."

"It's just... you look good." I reply as the elevator opens. We say no more until after the Parade. Even then we don't say much before he goes of to look for either sponsors or Chaff and escrt the Tributes home, but not before hugging and congratulating Portia.

I begin to babble to the kids when were in the elevator, telling them how I've been trying to win them sponsors. I'm sure to throw some stupid Capitol insult in there, just to be safe.

"Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You being from the coal district. But I said. and this was very clever of me, I said, "Well, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns into pearls!" _And the idiots believed it, does anybody else in the Capitol have the capacity for logic? The districts are much smarter._"Unfortunately,"I continue, "I can't seal the sponsor deals for you. Only Haymitch can do that. But don't worry, I"ll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary." _That would be fun. _I show Katniss and Peeta to their rooms before going up to the roof.

I stand alone, leaning against the railing, for at least half an hour before I'm disturbed. Somehow, I don't hear Haymitch before he's right behind me.

"What brings you up here Princess?" he asks loudly. I jump slightly and turn around to find my face inches away from his. Certian I'm blushing I turn back to watch over the city.

"I was thinking,"I reply as he stands beside me, looking at me as if to say, '_about what?' _I sigh before I continue, "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if the Dark Days didn't happen? If there was no Hunger Games? What if we were all free? How would we feel if it all went away?" I speak quickly, in case he decides to interrupt me, instead he just looks worried. "Don't worry, I swept the area for bugs, it's safe." He breathes a sigh of relief before speaking.

"I'm sorry, about this morning, I shouldn't have been so..." he says.

"It's fine, really, I'm okay with it, and I shouldn't have slapped you anyway.."

Nice necklace," he says, reaching for my engraved locket, his thumb runs over the bird on the surface before glancing at me. " You should get ready for dinner he says before going back inside. I stand still for a moment before following him.

_How did you fall for that one Effie?_

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**Please review! It means soo much!x**


	5. Chapter 4

**Hey! I'm back!(if you actually care, and are still bothered enough to be reading this) So I realised that there is like zero Hayffie in this so far, but there will be I promise, so I'm going to change the summary, so if you care look out for that. Anywho, here it is!**

**Enjoy!x**

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I wait for a while in my room before making my way back up to the roof, now my favorite part of the Training centre. It's oddly soothing, watching the Capitol at night time. It's not the same watching from my balcony, it's too far away from the city center and the garden up here is really lovely. I am just about to enter said garden when I hear Katniss and Peeta in a hushed conversation. As I turn to leave I hear Katniss say. "I don't know why anyone would want to leave here." _I'd leave here. _Peeta agrees with me. I'd run if I could, but I wouldn't get very far so I might as well stay here and hold onto hope..

They must suspect that the roof is bugged because Peeta covers up well with. "I'd go home right now if they'd let me but you have to admit, the food's prime." It takes me a moment to realise they're nearing the end of their conversation so I back into a corner and wait for them to head back inside. I'm leaning on the railing when I remember one night a few years back when I stayed out here all night long. Haymitch found me at about four, we sat out till eight.

* * *

I am woken by the screech of a bird the next morning. It takes a second to register that I am still on the roof, in last night's clothes, in broad daylight. As I sneak back to my room I hear a shout from the dining room.

"If I get jumped, I'm dead!" Katniss yells. _It must be the strengths talk. _I think as I step into my room. I am applying eyeliner when I notice Haymitch standing in my doorway; I ask him what he wants not bothering to turn to face him.

"You didn't come to breakfast this morning," he says questioningly. I simply reply that I overslept. He laughs gesturing to my messy, but obviously unused bed.

"Fine, I was on the roof, now get out," I snap in reply, slamming the drawer of my vanity shut, knocking over several bottles. On his way out Haymitch informs me with a laugh that it is almost ten. "I know," I snap, annoyed not that Haymitch seems not to understand the concept of manners, but that I will have to spend the day bored out of my mind. With Haymitch out getting sponsors, the kids at training and Portia and Cinna working I am alone in the Penthouse. I spend the day wandering around, I'm not in the mood for shopping and I eventually decide to just watch TV all day until everyone comes back for dinner. Strangely, Haymitch has become slightly more tolerable, I thought the lack of alcohol would make him more insufferable but I was wrong.

On the third day of training Katniss comes back and goes straight to her room, slamming the door shut behind her. Haymitch nods in her direction, telling me to find out what's wrong. No such luck. Haymitch and I alternate attempts at getting her to talk, eventually going together, until she shouts at us and Haymitch decides to give up. She does come to dinner but she says nothing and pushes her food around he plate until Haymitch says. "Enough small talk,just how bad were you today?"It's Peeta that talks first, telling us how the Gamemakers paid no attention to him, they never do. But Katniss shocks us all with her revelation.

"I shot an arrow at the Gamemakers," she says, barely looking up from her food. We're careful with our questions but I can barely keep from laughing. I hope that Gamemaker that fell in the punch was wearing something expensive.

* * *

I wake the next morning glad that I actually have something to do all day. It involves dealing with a very rude Katniss Everdeen but it's something nonetheless. I can understand that girl's frustration, her posture really is hopeless. Heels pose a problem due to the aforementioned poor posture. she refuses to smile properly and manages to have a snide remark for everything. I soon find my patience wearing extremely thin. "Katniss," I say , " You have to dazzle them! Good posture and nice manners goes a long way in the Capitol. If you can manage just that they won't notice your flaws. If these interviews go well then you'll get sponsors! The Gamemakers are going to go hard on after that stunt you pulled in training so you need all the help you can get. Now, straighten up,it'll help you walk." She's a tad less awful after that but not much. _I hope Haymitch can do better. _I am disappointed on that note. Katniss shows up for dinner looking even more annoyed when I last say her and Haymitch obviously started drinking. _I wonder if Cinna can help. _

* * *

I find my dress hanging on my wardrobe door the next day after lunch. Portia insisted on making it and I must say I'm pleasantly surprised. It's a deep red number with gold stitching, fitted but not too tight, with a heart neckline and cut just above the knee. It'd would look better with my natural hair due to the simplicity of the dress but I ignore the thought. I find Haymitch in his room struggling with his tie. I laugh softly and he turns around, still struggling with the fabric which is remarkably similar to that of my dress.

"Need a hand?" I ask stepping into the room. Haymitch stands still, staring at me, his mouth opening and closing a bit as I take the tie and manipulate it into a perfect knot. I straighten his jacket and leave the room, probably blushing furiously, not bothering to suppress the smile on my face. He enters the living room three minutes later, his hin pulled back like he does when he's trying to avoid saying something. "I have a really good feeling about this," I say as we wait in the living room. He nods slowly before the kids turn the corner and we both lose the ability to speak. Cinna and Portia are obviously sticking with the fire theme.

On the whole the interviews are a success. They kids look fabulous, Katniss brought almost everyone to tears when talking about her sister, but it's Peeta that really makes the impression, he's so likeable that everyone pays attention. Even Haymitch laughs when He sniffs Ceasar Flikerman. When Ceaser asks if he has a girlfriend I know he'll use it to his advantage, but what comes next is nothing short of shocking.

"Well, there's this one girl I've had a crush on for as long as I can remember but I don't think she knew I existed until the reaping." Now he has an advantage, the audience loves him and he's also tragic, genius. But his next confession is heartbreaking. "She came here with me." Katniss, he means Katniss. Something in his face means he's not lying. I hear Haymitch give a sigh of relief as her realises he just saved her chances.

It takes us a while to get back to the Penthouse and once the elevator opens we are met by the sight of Peeta lying in the remnants of a broken vase, with Katniss standing over him looking angry. It takes her a while to understand his motives but when she does she seems rather relived.

Dinner goes by it silence, it almost always does. They're going into the arena tomorrow, that's all anyone's thinking about and it doesn't really make good dinner conversation. _ This time tomorrow they could both be dead. _

* * *

They don't die on the first day, or the second, or the third, even though Katniss comes close and Peeta is pretty much asking for it. Thankfully Haymitch is out working, shocking but true, so I don't start screaming at him for not sending Katniss water. When I ask about it at dinner he simply replies. "She's smart, she'll figure it out, besides, she's close." _To dying, _I think as he goes back to his chicken. But sure enough, she finds the water, good thing too, otherwise she'd be dead for sure.

I wake in the early morning, still lying on the sofa. _Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire. How fitting. _These are my thoughts as she runs for her life from the giant forest fire of the Gamemakers creation._  
_

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**I know, I know, not my best work. Bear in mind that I had like four mosquito bite all itching simultaneously and I was locked away from civilisation. ( a tiny exaggeration on that last part but...) **

**I typed up the start and it was really, really good but my internet is a bit iffy since I got back and I couldn't remember it all. And it's the middle of the night so I apologize for mistakes. Anywho, hope you enjoyed! I was eating some cookies while I was typing this so if you review I'll send you some! (really though, I made like thirty more than I ment to.)**


	6. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! So my Internet hasn't been working properly since I got back from holidays, so there was some drama involved in writing this chapter. I had it typed up on anothe computer and now FF won't work and niether will my email and I don't have a usb key. Disaster. So I had to type it up again. Anyway, it's here, and my life has regained order and sanity. Thanks to anyone who's reviewed so far!**

**Really enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you enjoy reading it!x**

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In my seven years of working with Haymitch Abernathy I have never known him to spend an entire game even vaguely sober. I'm much more used to him drinking the Capitol dry of whisky, leaving the vodka for the grand finale. It's the silence that gets me this time. I am normally kept company by a tirade of insult thrown my way every time someone dies. Now there's only silence, only the empty Penthouse to comfort me. Hating to be on my own I spend most of the time in District 12's viewing room, accompanied occasionally by the stylists and on one occasion a brief visit from Seneca Crane. Insufferable man, if he wasn't married to one of my best friends I'd probably strangle him. Haymitch definitely would. But he's out working, hard to believe I know. Probably best for his safety. The thoughts going through my head every time he doesn't send water of medicine are nothing short of murderous. It's dark in here too, no one could prove it was me…_You wouldn't do that Effie, would you? Probably not. _I don't bother to go and look for him; I'd never find him among the sea of potential sponsors. His answers at dinner are less than satisfactory. Exactly how is Peeta sticking with the Careers going to keep him alive? They'll kill him the second they figure him out, and this is Peeta; probably the most predictable person ever.

I switch back to the Penthouse once Katniss finds Peeta . I hate not knowing what's going on with everyone else and this is the easiest way. Thought most of the time they're showing "the star-crossed lovers from District 12". The romance is believable but Peeta carries it really because his love is real. The Capitol loves a good love story so they're shown whenever possible, it is an entertainment show after all.

Haymitch watches the finale in the Penthouse. _Sponsors can't help them now. _We sit on the couch, each with a glass of wine and a bowl of chocolate strawberries by our side. Staring at the screen all night long. Waiting for the inevitable announcement. They haven't won; the rule change has been revoked. It comes in the morning, just after dawn. Neither of us are surprised but Katniss very nearly almost killed Peeta when he reaches for his knife to throw it away. Then she remembers the berries. I feel Haymitch tense up beside me. The berries have just passed their lips when Claudius Templesmith shouts.

"Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy Fourth Annual Hunger Games – Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!" I only now notice Haymitch's grip on my hand as the blood returns to my fingers and a moment later Haymitch's lips are crushed against my own. Seven seconds, that's how long it lasts – no more- before he backs away and starts swearing. I ask what the problem is even though I already know.

"She fucked up Effie! This is bad; this is really, really bad! She volunteered to save her sister now she's probably got her killed! We have to fix this." He shouts, after a moment of silence he begins to mutter something about her ruining her life.

"Haymitch," I say, laying a hand on his shoulder, "She hasn't ruined her life, I ruined her life, the Capitol ruined her life; she just made sure it was memorable." I pull the fine gold chain from under my collar and show the locket to Haymitch., the engraved mockingjay sending the message I can't say aloud. He nods to show that he understands. _This is our chance._ _Katniss is our chance. _

Haymitch suddenly lets go of my locket and within seconds he's out the door, claiming he's going to see Cinna. _Sure, he's probably going to get a drink. Haymitch going to see Cinna? _ It's so unlikely I don't even consider it being the truth, until he returns with a garment bag.

"Cinna says hi and asked me to give you this," he says, throwing the garment bag at me in passing. _An hour ago you were kissing me, now you're throwing things at me? What goes on in your head Haymitch? _I instantly flash back to Haymitch's games, or more precisely after them.

_I was in the kitchen when the television turned on. I saw the square in District 12. Six people stood in a line on the stage erected in front of the Justice Building. In and enclosed space in the corner sat Haymitch, surrounded by peacekeepers, a look of pure terror etched on his handsome face, silently apologising to the six people on the stage; his parents, three siblings and his sweetheart. That poor girl was only there by chance, she only happened to be dating him at that particular time. They started with the parents, Haymitch's apologies could now be easily heard in the silence of the square; his mother simply shook her head, smiling at him before hanging next to he husband. They were quick with the siblings shooting them all through the heart. But it was the girl that was horrific, they strapped her to a table and began cutting slits in her arms and legs. My mother told me to leave but I couldn't move, at least not until the slit her neck and she was dead. My father would've wondered why they televised it, given what they did to the girlfriend. My mother just told me to go to my room, never to mention it. Still I never forgot it._

Haymitch didn't either. I think of Katniss, her reaction when Prim was reaped, she'd never forgive herself if anything happened. To shake the thoughts from my head I read the note attached to the garment bag. "_For the presentation_". I open the bag to find a soft, silky fabric. It's a strange dress, very detailed yet very simple. It's the same cut as the interview dress, different shades of red, orange and yellow, almost like strokes of paint. The more I stare at it the more magnificent it seems, I'm about to put it back in the bag when I notice a small box sitting on the bottom. Inside is a hair clip, a single gold mokingjay with another note, this time saying "_for later". Later? What does he mean by later? _When I ask him what it meant he simply replies with a shrug and. "After." I'm assuming he means I'm not supposed to wear it for the presentation. He also say's I'll need a new hair colour. At least that makes sense. I find an old sunset orange wig in my apartment which goes so much better with the dress that my pink one. When I'm actually wearing the dress it's even more amazing. The colours blend together to look like both feathers and flames at the same time. They must be sticking with the fire.

I wait silently for Haymitch in the living room, fiddling with my gold locket. When he turns the corner he stops dead, his mouth slightly ajar, before walking to the elevator saying. "Nice dress, Trinket." I realise this is the first thing he's said to me in days. I shake my head and laugh in reply.

"Nice bow tie," I say, gesturing to the bright red bow tie around his neck. He grumbles something I can't make out before he exclaims.

"Did it have to be so bright? I mean why couldn't it have been more like … that?" he says pointing at my dress. Suddenly he starts laughing, not his usual sarcastic laugh of drunken guffaw, a genuine, almost childlike laugh. Probably like how he laughed before his games. _Great, now I'm back to thinking about his games. _I barely even noticed that I started to laugh as well.

"You have to warn Katniss," I say once I notice we're nearly at the lobby, "but don't mention it to Peeta, that'd ruin it." He nods slowly before the elevator opens We travel in silence and I don't even realise we've arrived until Haymitch squeezes my hand. I jolt back to alertness as I prepare for the show, thankfully Caeser doesn't interview the escorts so I won't have to speak.

It's dark under the stage and I can't shake the feeling that I'm inhaling a lot of mould. Haymitch goes off almost immediately leaving me alone to suffocate in the darkness. _What if this doesn't work? What if they aren't convincing?_ As my plate rises and the blinding light hits me I say to myself. '_Chin up Effie. Smile. _And I do, I smile, I wave and I join in on the cheering and stomping when Haymitch's plate rises. Then there's the kids, it's really sweet really, so believable, so very necessary. _Poor girl, she has no idea what she wants and she just made it so much harder to get. _I watch the recap of the games feeling sick to my stomach, _it's the music, definitely the music. _Then I notice what they cut out, Rue covered in flowers. They're scared.

Scared of the spark that's about to catch fire.

* * *

**AHH! Sorry I couldn't end that better. Sorry if it's a bit long, I ended up putting two short chapters together. I don't even know what I was thinking about with the execution, it makes like zero sense for that to be televised. Anywho, Hope you enjoyed! **


	7. Chapter 6

**Well hello there! So this is a very speedy upload but I don't really have much else to do. I was re-reading the previous chapters and I have to say... they weren't actually all that bad! I'm quite proud! Prepare yourself for some Hayffie thoughts, (we're not ****_quite _****there yet) and some Cinna!**

**Hope you enjoy!x**

* * *

_I am drowning. _This is all I'm aware of. I have no idea where I am, not a clue why I'm here, the only thing I know is that I'm drowning in this icy water. It's impossible to tell which way is up or down. I struggle for a while before finding the bottom of the lake. I swim upwards before losing control of my limbs. I am no longer drowning, I am falling. I land on the cold mattress of my bed in the Capitol. _I can't breathe. _I feel as though I am choking on the water I was drowning in a minute ago. After a lot of trying and some forced coughing I regain my ability to draw a shaky breath. _What was that about? _I am no stranger to nightmares, they visit me often, but they are usually about other people. My father, my sister, Cinna, Portia, the tributes whose names I have pulled from the reaping bowl and on occasion Haymitch. They never used to involve me. I can't think why they've changed.

It takes a moment for my brain to register that my phone is ringing. I raise my hand to answer when I find it drenched in sweat, the rest of my body seems to be aswell. I answer with a shaky. "Hello?"

"Effie, it's Cinna. I wanted to make sure you'd be on time for the train."He replies with a slight laugh.

"Cinna, I'm never late,"I reply, laughing, but my voice is still weak, Cinna asks me what's wrong. "Oh nothing, just not feeling like myself, I'll be better once I've got some caffeine in me," I lie, he doesn't sound satisfied but he just reminds me that I have to be at the station at ten. I do feel a bit better once I've had a shower and a coffee but mostly I'm just confused. _Why am I so concerned about myself all of a sudden?_

* * *

I meet Cinna, Portia and the prep teams, all looking exhausted, at the train station two hours later. I feel a little bad for the prep teams, those poor idiots don't know how to be up and out before noon, they'll have to get used to it. Cinna's looking at me suspiciously, he obviously didn't belive me earlier, but I don't comment on it knowing that if I do I'm going to be sentenced to questioning. I suppose the roles should be reversed since I haven't completely ruled out the possibility that there might be something going on between him and Portia. The trip to 12 does nothing to help that situation, they spend almost every waking moment locked in the garment car and only come out for meals. Most of which Cinna spends staring at me, I only realise why after breakfast on the day we arrive. We are nearing the end of the meal when Atalia, one of Peeta's prep team says. "Oh, I'm so looking forward to seeing Peeta!" We all nod in agreement.

"If only Haymitch wasn't so ...," someone else says, trailing of, trying to think of an appropriate word. _Damaged. _I suddenly feel the need to defend him, even though I know he'd hate me for it._ He hates me anyway so it can't hurt. _

"He's really not that bad," I find myself shrug, some seem to consider that I might be right, after all, I know him better. Cinna nods for moment before he speaks.

"Well, if you're into that," he replies simply. At first I'm confused but as Portia slowly turns her head towards me I realise what he means, Cinna thinks I have a crush on Haymitch. _Well, he's not wrong. _I'm absolutely positive I'm blushing. I glance up at him, shake my head slightly and he directs his attention back to the prep teams.

When we arrive at Victors Village I go to Peeta's house first. He's much easier to talk to and Katniss might actually kill me. _That girl would drive you to drink. Awful choice of words Effie. _Almost the second I walk through the door a cup of tea and a cookie are shoved into my hands and Peeta greets my excitedly. The living room is full of paintings and Haymitch sits in the corner, nursing a bottle. I finish my tea before heading over to Katniss where I am greeted, not by paintings, by dresses, fabrics and sketches. She seems overly excited going around holding up dresses it's obvious Cinna designed. Primrose brings be a cup of tea and one of Peeta's cookies. They're awfully polite but I know they don't want me here. After all, I did almost nearly sentenced Primrose to death.

I'm unbelievably relived when I'm told the camera crew want to start shooting outside. It's very convincing, one wouldn't doubt their love even if it is fake. they don't let go of each other until they're on the train, where they immediately drop hands. After dinner, which is delicious but quiet, Cinna pulls me aside in the corridor. He simply raises his eyebrows but his question is clear, I pretend I don't understand. He rols his eyes before speaking. "Haymitch?" It's not hostile, slightly confused, more amused. "Really Effie?" I shrug in reply and turn to leave, he grabs by forearm and pulles me back. "Come on Effie, you know what I mean, your just so... he doesn't seem like your type..." I can't help but smile, Cinna's so easy to talk to. " I'm not saying he's not attractive, he is... in a way." I start to laugh at this, it's obvious Cinna had a crush on Haymitch at some point. "Breifly," he he says with a smile, but his face quickly turns serious, "Effie, be careful," he says before walking away. I don't need to ask what he means, what I'm feeling is technically illegal. If the wrong person found out I could very well be punished. I decide it't best if I ignore him. This decision proves difficult to stick with. He's always around and always trying to annoy me. I decide to return the favour my constnatly giving out about manners and his drinking and going over the top when the train has to stop for maintnance. it's Katniss that cracks though, Haymitch stays completely silent. I leave the compartment shortly after Peeta.

The trip is dull, apart from 11, it's the same thing every day, they make speaches, we go to dinner, we leave. At least Katniss and Peeta are getting along. I see him slip out of her room each morning, Haymitch tells me to talk to Katniss about it saying it's a 'female thing'. I mention it, she sas they'll be more discreet, they don't. We're between 5 and 6 when I decide that Katniss and Peeta need to learn to dance. Cinna refuses to help, claiming it's someone elses job. _He is killing me! _I find all three of them sitting in the living room.

"You know, it just occured to me," Katniss says when I enter, "Peeta and I don't know any Capitol dances. We'll have to learn some." Her eyes flick between me and Haymitch expectantly. I hold out my hand to him, he stares at me for a moment before realising what I'm asking.

"No chance, no way, not going to happen," he protests, not stopping for a breath.

"Well I would ask Cinna but he's busy, and _you're _their mentor," I say holding out my hand. Katniss and Peeta are both nodding and Katniss points out that as their mentor it's his job to teach them. After a while we eventually get him to agree. I take his right hand and place it on my waist, he steps away but I pull him back. I nod to Katniss to start the music and we start a simple waltz. Haymitch obiviously remembers it since he only stumbles a little at the start. Halfway through and he's completely transformed, his movement is swifter, he's pulled me closer and his grip on my waist is considerably firmer, burning through the fabric of my dress. Suddenly, something flashes in his eyes and he drops my hand, let's go of my waist and is out of the car in five seconds flat. I glance at Katniss and Peeta, both looking as confused as I am. I decide to teach them sepeately and by dinner my feet are aching and I can't look Haymitch in the eye.

* * *

_Haymitch's POV_

I'm contemplating leaving the car when she walks in. _Damn woman, why is she always so smiley? Even during the Games, but then again it seems pretty forced. She's always smiley but she's not... _I'm barely done with these thoughts when she holds out one small, perect, porceline, well manicured hand and forcing me to dance. I haven't danced in years and there's _no way_ I'm starting now. But I do... _God I hate Katniss, that girl never gives up. _I suppose that's why I end up dancing with Effie, because I know Katniss won't give up. Anyway, I end up doing a stupid Capitol dance with a st... _No, not stupid. _It's not that bad really, I actually start to enjoy it, until an image appears in my head.

It's Effie, at least I think it is. It must be. She's dancing... dancing with me, she's smiling, laughing. Then I notice the dress, white. It's a wedding dress, tiny diamonds sparkling in the evening light. We are dancing, barefoot in the meadow, on our wedding day.

The image dissapears and I am brought back to reality. _I have to get out of here. _I drop her hand and leave the room, heading straight for the bar car. _I really need a drink._

* * *

_Effie's POV_

"So how'd it go?"Cinna asks me in the corridor, I shake my head and walk on. "Badly I suppose?" He continues, following me. I turn so suddenly he bumbs into me.

"I have absoloutely no idea how it went." I snap in reply, "do you really think I have any idea what goes on in that mans head?" Now I realise why I'm mad at Cinna. "Oh my God," I whisper. "You planned this...You told _Katniss_? I trusted you, I told you that in confidence!"

"OK first of all," he says calmly, "I forced that confession out of you in complete confidence, and second, Katniss figured it out by herself, these kids aren't blind Eff, and neither are you..." I wait for him to continue but he doesn't.

"Are you going to tell me something here?" I ask, wishing he would just say it outright.

"Look around you, figure it out." he says before turning the corner. _What am I supposed to be looking for? Haymitch? Rebellion? _It's confusing but I listen. Haymitch won't look at me at all and Portia smiles a lot more than she used to. But it's the districts that I notice the most. When We're in 4 there's an bvious feeling of rebellion in the air, odd for a Career district.

_Watch your back Katniss, anything could happen._

* * *

**I got a little lost there in the middle but I found my way back. Pease review!x**


	8. Chapter 7

**Hello! I know that last chap was a but rushed but I wanted to get it up before Holby City. So I apologise for that. This one will be a little less...*insert crazy hand motions here* Hope you enjoy!x**

* * *

Anything could happen. Lives could be ruined, people could die. But I suppose sacrifices have to be made for a future that's worth having. _Sacrifices. _What Snow calls the tributes. I'm suddenly thinking of Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch. they could be killed in this. _Mabye you're thinking to far ahead Effie. _Perhaps I am, but Katniss notices the atmosphere in the districts too. She stops sleeping and eating, I give her some sleeping pills but they don't work, no surprise really none work for me either.

As we near the Capitol I realise how soon the tour will be over. I'll be going back to being bored out of my mind and having nightmares about drowning. _Mabye I should have less blue in my bedroom. _Opportunity for activity arises with Peeta's proposal, which was really very sweet. If only Katniss wasn't so confused. She pulls me aside at now's party afterward, asking me to plan the wedding. Apparently she wouldn't know how to plan a Capitol wedding and she wants someone she knows to do it, so it still feels like _her _wedding. She said something about my impeccable planning skills as well. _Mabye she thinks I have better things to do. _I nod in reply and she walks back to Peeta, smiling. It's not long before Cinna comes up behind me holding out his hand for a dance.

"So I assume I have to design the dress?"

"She wouldn't have it any other way," I reply as we turn.

"So, onto the real reason I whisked you onto the dance floor," He says as he spins me, "and no, it's not because you were standing alone and it was depressing. I wanted to ask you something. I want to design your wedding dress." It's such an odd request that I can't help but laugh, his expression remains serious.

"I'm not getting married Cinna,"I say, shaking my head to emphasise my point.

"I know that. I mean when you get married, because that would be one hell of a wedding." I raise my eyebrows questioningly. "Well, it'd be a district, Capitol wedding, and probably one of the first."

"You say that like it's a possibility."

"And you say that like it's not," He says as the song ends. I now stand alone, contemplating Cinna's last words. _It isn't a possibility. Even if it was legal... Haymitch hates me, always has, always will. _Just as the thought goes through my head Haymitch appears beside me holding out his hand.

"Wouldn't want those dance lessons to go to waste," he say's. _What is he talking about, he was present for like a third of a sixteenth of a dance lesson. What does that make? A forty eighth? _I take his hand nonetheless. "Whats wrong Trinket? You haven't spoken to me in days and you're far less annoying than usual."

"Wow, that makes me feel a lot better." I say sarcastically, I don't really feel like talking to Haymitch about my conversation with Cinna so I simply reply with, "I'm fine." He decides to inform me that 'I'm fine is the most common lie in the world. "I don't really feel like talking." I reply and he says no more. Instead he tighens his grip on my waist and pulls me closer. His face is inches from mine when he has the exact same reaction as he did on the train. I'm left alone once more, cursing the sweet music. Cinna comes up behind me and whispers in my ear.

"It's an old theatre song, from before the Dark days, something about unrequited love." _He is killing me!_

* * *

The next time I speak to Haymitch is on the last night of the Tour, out on the balcony of the mayors house in District 12. I'm leaning over the railing, freezing down to my bones when he stumbles out.

"You should go back inside," he says, you look freezing.

"I'd rather freeze than go back in there." I say quietly. "Everybody hates me... I hate me."

"What are you talking about? They don't hate _you_, they hate who they think you are. They don't know you. All they see when they look at you is some simple, Capitol woman who never wanted for anything, who loves the games. You're not that person... well at least not completely."

"I never told you how my dad died, did I?" the words are out of my mouth before I know what I'm saying. He simply shakes his head and steps closer. I decide to just tell him. "It was... twenty five years ago, only a little while before your Games. I was fourteen. I was in the kitchen... baking I think. When they came. Peacekeepers. He was gone in less than five minutes... Traitorous behavior. My mother was never quite the same again..."

"Well mabye, he was-"

"-No, he wasn't, he definitely wasn't." I cut him off, shaking my head. He whispers a pointless apology into my wig. "Don't apologise, it's nothing compared to what happened to your family." I curse myself for speaking, _what is the mater with me? _I shake my head.

"It's OK, it doesn't matter. No one blames you Effie... you know that, right?" I nod my head before going back inside.

* * *

I do so little over the next few months I forget what day it is, they all kind of meld together when you only work a few weeks a year. So I try to pass the time by perfecting some of my mothers old recipes, sure I buy a lot of flour but I have enough money._ The joys of having one of the highest paying jobs in the Capitol. _It's not until the wedding shoot that I actually have reason to the day of the week. When I ask Cinna it turns out to be a Wednesday, we leave for 12 on Friday.

The dresses are fabulous, really exquisite. I must admit, I'm a little bit glad I'm letting Cinna design my wedding dress... if I ever need one. Cinna says I have to come because I'm the wedding planner and because I'll be able to keep them all on schedule. I think he just want's to get me to 12 as often as possible. It's a long day and by the end everyone's so exhausted that they're barely able to keep it together long enough for dinner.

* * *

The next evening I find myself on my couch, glass of wine in hand about to watch Cinna's interview. The man is officially the most popular stylist the Capitol has to offer. I'm just about to leave the room when I'm reminded that this year is the third Quarter Quell. _The reading of the card. __What awful thing have you got in store this year? _At least Katniss and Peeta are mentoring this year, there's no way Haymitch will be in any state to mentor.

President Snow takes the stage, reminding us of previous Quells as if we don't already know. He takes an envelope from the box being held up before him. He opens it slowly, far too slowly for my liking, and the he reads. "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors. There will be no volunteers."

I'm frozen, only to be brought back to my senses by a splash of wine on my leg. _Existing pool of victors? I'm a woman who's world is built on punctuality, this timing is far to convenient. There is no way on earth that was written Seventy five years ago. _I already know who's name I'm going to pull out of that male reaping bowl. Haymitch is going into the arena, and I have to send him there.

* * *

**Ok, finished it. Got a bit lost again in the middle but it turned out ok! Hope you enjoyed! I'll try to get another chap up bfore school starts but I'm not making any promises. Please review, it makes my day! Until next time! x**


	9. Chapter 8

**Greetings! I do hope you're well! I'm a little tired. Ikea can do that to a person. So here it is. Hope you enjoy!X**

* * *

I wake on the couch, the grey dawn light peering in the window. Someone's knocking on the door. _What kind of horrible specimen is calling at this hour? _It turns out to be Cinna. The first thing he does is pull me into his arms and I begin sobbing into his chest. We stand there for God knows how long before I realise that he's holding a shopping bag. I take it and inside I find chocolate, cupcakes and cookies, along with some real food. He hold up a finger telling me to stay silent.

"So I realise you probably feel really shitty right now so I decided to come over and see how you were, and I don't feel too fantastic so I needed someone to eat with. Portia's coming over later." He waves his hand, indicating that I am allowed to speak. Instead I go to the kitchen and emerge a few minutes with plates of cupcakes balanced on my arms. Cinna raises his eyebrows but I can't tell if he's more impressed by the baking or the balancing.

"How am I going to do it?" I ask Cinna about an hour later. "It's bad enough on normal years, but I know them, I care about we both know whose name is coming out of that bowl. I can't sentence him to death."

"You're not sentencing him to death. You know that, I know that, and everyone knows you can't help whose name you pull out of that bowl. He doesn't blame you Effie, he told you that already, so don't blame yourself." He says after a minute. "Oh and by the way, I'm almost done the dress. Very classy, very simple, you'll like it."

"Why are you even bothering?" I ask, biting into a rose cupcake. _Mabye if I eat enough of these I cry. Nope, not going to work. _

"Because you're my friend, and I love you... Effie, I want you to promise me something. Actually two somethings. First of all, you're going to tell him, I don't care how but those words have to come out of your mouth before he goes into the arena. OK?" I nod in reply. "And second, you're going to wear the dress, promise?" I nod again but with a tad more reluctance. Telling him isn't a problem. _Mabye I could do it during the hour the tributes have to say goodbye. _There is still a week after that which could be extremely awkward but it doesn't matter because I don't get the chance.

* * *

It's unbelievably hot in 12 on Reaping day, definitely the hottest I can remember but that might have something to do with the fact that I'm freaking out a little bit. _Don't crack Effie, don't crack. _I keep telling myself as I walk on to the stage. I find myself fighting the need to vomit as I watch Haymitch for the entirety of the short reaping. I barely mange to keep it together as I call out Katniss' name, even though everyone knew it was coming. As I walk towards the male reaping bowl everything goes silent and It's a struggle to stand. I have to repeat the name because it comes out as almost a whisper with a slightly rushed surname.

"H-Haymitch Abernathy." I feel them both stiffen beside me as the entire population of 12 presses their fingers to their lips and raises their left hand.

We are quickly whisked into the Justice Building, where we find the head peacekeeper, Thread Haymitch called him, directing us to cars at the back of the building. Katniss is absolutely devastated, she knows she'll never see her family, her friends, her beloved Primrose, ever again. _This can't be right. _The train station is full of Peacekeepers, no cameras, no reporters, just a lot of Peacekeepers. _The Peacekeeping force here is very disproportionate. _Within minutes of pulling out of th station Haymitch is slumped on the couch, Peeta is sitting with his chin in his hand, and Katniss is still staring out the window. I head to my room and sit on the bed, fiddling with the butterflies on my dress until dinner, which verges on depressing. Even Peeta barely speaks, and he can always finds something decent to say. Haymitch is a miserable sight, He plans of keeping Katniss alive for as long as he can so he's staying sober. He's an absolute wreck. I make a quick gesture to an Avox, telling them to take away my wine. It helps a little but not much. He's silent for the entire trip really, except for a comment here or there. It's a relief to get of that godforsaken train.

* * *

The moment I finish getting ready for the Tribute Parade Cinna appears beside me with a very, very loud. "How'd it go?"

"It didn't," I reply. "Surely Katniss told you they didn't get to say goodbye?" I ask , barely glancing up at him.

"No, no she did not," he replies simply. "So what are you going to do? You're not the type of person to break a promise." I shrug in reply. He hugs me until it is absolutely necessary that we leave. He takes my arm and drags me out the door. I can tell he has a plan.

* * *

_Haymitch_

_Ugh, are these costumes really necessary? Well, at least they're better than they used to be. But that doesn't justify the fact that I am not in a fitted, black jumpsuit... that glows. And my face is itching because of all this Capitol muck. How does Effie wear this all day? _Portia makes an attempt at conversation as he draws on my eyebrows. "How are you doing? And don't say you're fine because I know that's not true."

"It's worse for Katniss, there are still people se cares about, who care about her. No one will care if I die." Portia shakes her head as she steps back to give me a look of disappointment.

"You're an idiot," she says before declaring that she's finished and that I can go downstairs now.

* * *

_Effie_

After the parade Cinna holds me back for a while, trying to pretend to care about what he's telling me about the tributes costumes, leaving me to take an elevator up to the Penthouse alone with Haymitch. the silence borders on awkward as we make our way up, until I quickly say. "I know you hate me Haymitch, but I actually don't mind you, which is an achievement for a person so can you do me a favor? Stay alive." I decide to use his classic bit of tribute advice before kissing him on the cheek as the elevator opens. I step out, barely concealing the smile playing on my lips.

* * *

**Sorry if it didn't flow properly, I don't know what's the matter with me. I just couldn't leave out the elevator, even though it wasn't much. Hope you enjoyed, I'll try to update as soon as I can!x**


	10. Chapter 9

**Hey! I don't really have enough energy for a long authors note. But I will apologise for the quality of my last chapter, it could've been a lot better. This one isn't the best either,I'm trying I promise! I also apologise for the amount of dialogue. This should've been up earlier but Of Perfume, Liquor and Baby Bottles was updated and I couldn't function for ages.**

* * *

I don't sleep very much that night, I don't really sleep at all actually. I can't stop thinking about the Quell, Haymitch and Katniss. _They could both be dead in a week, and one of them will definitely be gone in two. _It's a relief to see the dim light of morning peeking through the windows. I rise almost immediately, not wanting to spend any more tie in this room. _Mabye I can catch Haymitch before he goes to bed. _As I slip out of my room, holding a small black box behind my back, Haymitch appears at the far end of the corridor, he backs away but I tell him I want to talk to him. I hold out the box, he silently asks what it is. I roll my eyes and shake it a little, telling him to open it.

"Not a chance, no way, nooo," He says, shoving the box back into my hands.

"Look, just wear it today, and make a point of it, and then give it to the ally you want that Katniss will trust the least. I suggest Finnick Odair." Haymitch raises his eyebrows.

"Why Finnick? Come on Trinket, I thought you were better than that!" Even the mere thought of what he's implying is almost enough to make me gag.

"First of all, that's disgusting, and second, you know exactly why." Of course he knows. _Rebellion. Even I know that. _Haymitch reluctantly holds out his arm and I snap the bangle onto his wrist. He stares at it disapprovingly.

"Mabye we shouldn't team up with Finnick, he won't be much help, having to take care of Annie." He seems to have realised something. "Why are you up so early Trinket?" He asks, fiddling with the bangle.

"Couldn't sleep," I reply dismissively before leaving Haymitch to get some sleep.

* * *

I wake everyone at around nine. Katniss doesn't show up for breakfast and Haymitch starts to get fidgity once Peeta mentions training. They decide that they'll need allies and Haymitch lists people that would be useful, Finnick, Chaff, Seeder and some others. I excuse myself when Haymitch calls conversations are usually uncomfortable and I really don't want to be a part of this one.

* * *

Once again I'm left alone in the silent Penthouse, I know these games will be my last. I'm not going to miss ut though, I'm going to miss who I'm missing. I'm going to miss the silence of the Penthouse interuppted by a drunken Haymitch in the middle of the night, having to attemt to make out Haymitch's atrocious handwriting in the shocking event of us actually getting a sponsor. I'm even going to miss the fights, those fights that remind me that yes, I am actually still alive. Without that there is silence, without that there will always be silence.

"So how'd it go today?" Peeta asks once the conversation grows sufficiently awkward. Katniss sinks slightly in her chair, obviously not wanting to talk about it. Haymitch goes first.

"Threw some knives, nothing special," He says with a shrug. Katniss goes white and stares at her peas.

"I um...I... kinda... hung Seneca Crane." I glance around the table to make sure I heard correctly. Every face shows various amounts of confusion, I feel tears starting to prick the back of my eyes.

"You... Hung... Seneca?" Cinna and Portia ask in unison. Katniss tries to explain but I can't hear her. It's not long before I have to excuse myself, Haymitch joins be ten minutes later.

"You ok Trinket?" He asks, opening the door a crack, I inform him that I am absolutely fine. "Most common lie in the world sweetheart,"He says, slipping into my bedroom. "So... Seneca?"

"Oh, god no. That's just... definitely not. I've done some terrible things in my life but that is not one of them," I reply with a shudder. _What is the matter with you Haymitch?_

"Sorry, just a question. So what's wrong? I mean I know she shouldn't have done that but what's up with you?"

"Did you know Seneca was married?" Haymitch shakes his head. "Yeah, he married a friend of mine a few years ago, two kids. He made her happy, which is not the easiest thing to do, anyway, she just kind of... went, when he died. A bit like Katniss' mother. I just think that if she knew that she wouldn't have done what she did."

"Ok, well, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do right now so... You should come watch the scores." I nod and He takes my hand, pulling me up and out of the room. Haymitch comes out with an eight, Peeta questions this,saying a few weeks ago he couldn't his a house with a knife, Haymitch shrugs in reply before Katniss receives a twelve. No one says anything, instead we all awkwardly leave and retreat to out rooms.

I remove my wig and scrub my face clean before pulling on a nightgown an sneaking up to the roof. I haven't been up here this year but tonight I really need to clear my head. _Calm down Effie, breathe. _In less then a minute I'm sobbing for no particular reason. I blame it on the Quell. _What is wrong with you Effie? Did you really think you'd wake up some day and everything would be ok? That none of this would be happening? What did you expect?_

"Effie?" Haymitch asks from behind me. I stare at him as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You look so _different_." I blush as I realise that I'm not wearing any make up.

"What do you want Haymitch?" I snap as I turn back to the railing. I know it sounds childish but I'm not really in the mood to be made fun of.

"I came up here to figure out what your problem is. You've been snappy all week. What's up?"

"You're always asking me that! Why can't you leave me alone?"

"So I'm the problem? Well I suppose you're glad I'll be dead in a week so I'm not bothering you!" _Wow, that stings. _

"Don't you dare say that, you know that's not true."

"So you don't want me dead?"

"No, I hope you die horribly," I reply sarcastically. "Of course I don't, I may hate you but I don't want you dead!"

"You said before that you didn't hate me." He's got a small smirk on his lips.

"Well I don't, but I do. That's not the point." Even I'm getting confused by what I'm saying. He asks me what the point is. I reply before I realise I'm speaking. "The point is that I'm in love with you like some stupid romantic comedy where everything ends up ok!" My hand flies to my mouth to prevent and further embarrassment. _I'm an idiot. _I start shaking my head violently, hoping that it will erase my last words. I start to speak before Haymitch's lips find mine.

* * *

**Ok... that was really bad. I can't even explain what happened... I'm just so sorry. I just couldn't get it to flow. It was written and rewritten soo many times, it just wouldn't work. Anywho, I am determined to improve. I won't be updating very often because school, and life, and determination to produce a decent chapter. I hope you bear with me here though! Until next time!x**


	11. Chapter 10

***Insert cold voice here* Hey guys. I'm to tired, too busy and too sick to come up with a creative greeting, or a long chapter. But here it is so I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

It takes me a moment to realise that I'm not in my own bed and once I do I'm not sure how to feel about it. Should I be embarrassed, ashamed? Of course I should, and I do... a little. I bury my face in the soft blue pillow and breathe in the faint scent of liquor and pine. It's an odd scent but so... safe. But since I can already see the light of morning peeping through the curtain I should probably leave. I meet Haymitch in the hallway in my attempt to sneak back to my room.

"Ah, the walk of shame," he says teasingly. "thankfully the only ones to see you can't speak." _Why am I smiling? _Haymitch kisses me on the cheek before walking away. _Oh, that's why. _I head to my room, unable to stop smiling. My alarm clock goes of seconds after I enter, telling me that it's 7a.m. I dress quickly before giving a note to an Avox for Katniss and Peeta and heading off to breakfast.

"Morning conduct coach,"Haymitch says as he passes me on the way to the table. I roll my eyes, unable to control my laughter.

"And how long did you work on that one Haymitch?"

"All night," he replies with a shrug.

"You mean when you weren't-" I begin before he whispers something about bugs in my ear as he passs to the table.

"Where are Katniss and Peeta?" he asks, glancing around the room. I reply, telling him that they are on the roof. "Why?"

"I decided that Katniss doesn't need training, and I still owe Peeta for the reaping." Haymitch brightens slightly. "Oh no, _you _need training."He starts to complain that he had been giving the training for twenty-five years. "And yet you have absolutely no knowledge of basic social graces." He groans loudly. We don't really get much done though. Most of my sentences end with Haymitch giving some uncouth remark or kissing me. Even though it was quite frustrating I can't say I didn't enjoy my day.

* * *

I find my dress after lunch the next day. A deep blood red with strokes of black here and there. I've just pinned on my wig when I hear Haymitch in the doorway.

"I could use a little help here." He says,holding out his tie. My face scrunches up in confusion, he has a prep team for that. Still, I take the tie from his hand and tie in slowly, smiling as I feel his warm breath on my forehead. "I didn't trust the prep team to get me ready," he whispers in my ear, I roll my eyes before he continues. "There was no way I was letting the put make up on me." I reach up and kiss his cheek softly, leaving a deep red mark. He chuckles, shaking his head. "I suppose I had that coming."

"Don't do anything stupid. I know you're a lot smarter than that but please be careful." He nods before pulling me into his arms.

"I promise," he whispers. He kisses my temple before tuning to leave, I grab his arm and pull him back. I slip my locket from around my neck hand put it in his hand. His fingers close around it before he glances back at me.

"Just in case," I say, blinking back a tear. "And that necklace is very special to me so I expect you to bring it back... without a scratch." I usher him out quickly, saying he's going to be late, he takes my hand and kisses it before walking down the hall. Cinna materializes in the doorway before I have the chance to wipe my eyes. He points in the direction Haymitch left, looking at me questioningly. I shrug awkwardly in reply before asking what he has planned for tonight.

"I think you'll love it. But you'll prefere yours when you see it. Much less showy." I stare back in confusion. "Come on, you'll be late."

The interviews pass quickly, except Annie Cresta who just its there with her hand over her ears. At some point Portia grabs my knee to stop my leg shaking. Finally Katniss takes the stage and I'm completely lost for words. _The dress is just... I mean it's...and now it's a bird. Great. Great job Cinna, you've just gotten yourself killed. _Haymitch takes the stage and the thoughts of my friends lave my head and the interview gets my full attention. Ceaser starts by asking how he feels.

"Very old," he replies and the crowd roars with laughter. "I mean, has it really been 25 years?"

"What an honour it would be to win the games twice." Ceaser says dramatically, well everything's dramatic with Ceaser.

"Yeah, but I don't plan on having that honour."He replies.

"What are you planning then?" Ceaser asks.

"I'm gonna keep Katniss alive for as long as possible. If not for her and Peeta then for the baby."

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**Really hoped you enjoyed that! It'll be awhile before the next chapter because life. Paramore is spreading lies. It ain't fun living in the real world. Until next time!x**


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